Archive for March, 2009

How Come New Orleans Can’t Use Sandbags Like Fargo Does

Saturday, March 28th, 2009

These people were hard at work, protecting their town.  They worked their asses off to protect self owned property.  Fargo is real America.


New Orleans could have sandbagged just like Fargo.  You see, in New Orleans, those people just have a chip on their shoulder and none of them own their own property.  If they had owned their own property then they would have went out and protected it like those people in the rest of America.  They always want stuff, like welfare and food stamps.  Most of them have free rent that is paid for by the government, i.e. you and me.  They don’t care about us or even themselves like people in Fargo do.

Fargo people are happy in the face of calamity.  They maintain the real optimism that people should have in natural disasters.

These people weren’t even greatful when others came to help them.  Why would anyone want to give more money to these welfare queens?  The people of Fargo will use money to make more money.  These people will just buy more crack and blame all of their problems on “the Man.”

Eric Holder is the Face of Bill Clinton and All the Other Dope Smokers

Wednesday, March 25th, 2009

Eric Holder, that’s right, the Attorney General, has decided that dope smoking hippies can smoke all of the weed they want as long as they say there is something wrong with them.  I can’t say I am surprised after the pardon of Mark Ritch.  That damn beatnik acts like he is stoned already.

Yep, that’s right, Eric Holder has said that the laws regarding drugs will only be enforced when both federal law and state law agree.  That sounds pretty good in theory, but what about all of those good prison guards that will lose their jobs.

We can not sustain our society without criminals.  If you look at their faces then you know that they are just fine where they are.  If we let these people out then many other people that automatically vote our way and would just be roaming the street anyway would be unentertained.  We must ensure law and justice, especially when it comes to drugs.

I had a girl in school once tell me that every time someone smokes a joint that somebody has to die.  I knew that was true because of all the gang stuff, especially the Mexicans and Blacks.  They shoot each other, and it is always about weed.

Executive Bonuses Stimulate the Economy

Monday, March 16th, 2009

If we don’t pay our executives well, then they will go to other companies that do pay them well.  I know that some bonuses sound a little high for you or I, but bonuses are very well spent.  Besides that, people make decisions based on how much income they make.  Adjusting lifestyles  is more difficult for executives  than for most.  Take into consideration that if rich people don’t get their money then there will be no one to run this thing when the economy recovers.  Economies naturally have ups and downs, and it is not the fault of an executive.  Our American executives should be properly compensated for having to tolerate the incompetency of the public.  Real talent costs real money.

I almost quit the NRA because I found out that Charlton Heston was a Hollywood actor!

Friday, March 13th, 2009

I know that most of you might not have known that so don’t freak out.  I was having a conversation with one of my buddies while we were working on the deer camp and we were talking about that pinko commie, gun hater Sean Penn.

See, he is some kind of Bolshevik, Lenin look alike, Stalin lover.  I bet he is even stoned on pot.

I said that I couldn’t stand them actors from Hollywood and we should just napalm that god forsaken place.  That was when he told me that Charlton Heston was an actor.  I couldn’t hardly believe it.  I told him that I didn’t think the NRA let pinko Commies in.  He said that Heston wasn’t a Commie but was a good old red blooded American.  I asked him, how did he know, and if he was a real American then how could he be an actor, and maybe he was just pretending to be an American so he could rat us out, just like Ronald Reagan used to pretend like he was a Commie actor so he could tell the Republicans about all those pinkos in Hollywood but Charlton could have been doing it the other way around and have been telling on the Republicans to those pinkos.

That’s when he told me that not all actors are pinkos.  He said that Clint Eastwood was an actor.  I told him that I didn’t like Clint Eastwood any more since he made that movie about those sheep herding homos that lived on that Brown Backing Mountain.  That’s when he told me that John Wayne was an actor and I said that he ought not be talking about the Duke like that and it was ill to speak of the dead in such a manner.  I gave him a fat lip and told him I was quitting the NRA under protest and he wasn’t allowed back at deer camp.

Any way, I started thinking about that, and I bet John Wayne wouldn’t want me to quit the NRA.  I got on the computer and I found out that John Wayne really was an actor before he became a Duke.  I found out that some of those movies Charlton Heston made weren’t too bad.  So I guess I’m going to stay in the NRA, but I’m not letting that buddy go back to deer camp any more.

I’m really scared that Rush Limbaugh might be a homosexual!

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

I was riding home from work one day, and it was late, so I guess I got Rush on repeat.  He was talking about some kind of government funding of some kind of sexual thing or another and was talking about orgasms.  I didn’t really understand what he was talking about at first, but Rush said “How can there be conception without orgasm.” because he was talking about the study that showed that women were more likely to conceive after orgasm.  He kind of went into it for a while and I realized that he didn’t know about the discovery of the female orgasm.

Sometime in the ’50’s I think, right after suffrage and all, women got this idea that they got to have sexual gratification just like a man does.  In the old school they just would have to bear it and not have any fun at all.  Try telling that to your girlie now.  You’ll be hanging around in the den watching porn and spanking the old monkey when you don’t think you’ll get caught.

Now, I don’t think that Rush is a homo just because he hasn’t ever given a girl her nut, or doesn’t even know about girly parts, but I find it highly unusual that he and Linda Tripp use the same plastic surgeon.  I don’t mind a good boob job every once in a while, but good, conservative grown men ought not be wearing make-up and having different faces streched over their heads like they are a bunch of homely old broads with saggy titties.

I shouldn’t be posting because it is Sunday.

Sunday, March 8th, 2009

I know that I should be at church because it is Sunday and all.  I stopped going to church because they started letting the homosexuals in and even be ministers and what not.  My wife said that was just the Methodists that are queer lovers but I think that Methodists may as well be Baptists except for that sprinkling thing.  In fairness, I don’t mind the queer lovers so much, but it was a damn good excuse to not have to go to church.  I get to drink beer all day while the family is gone.

Speaking of not having to go to church,  I found out that the club I used to go to didn’t like Catholics or brown people.  Well, good old Bobby Jindal is brown and a Catholic.  I’m really glad he isn’t one of those Arab Muslims anymore.

Bobby Jindal is a good, hard working, red blooded American that represents the real optimism and foresight we need.  I don’t care what people at church or at club say about it.  I’m a grown man and can make up my own mind about these kind of things.

Hillary Clinton is a Communist

Saturday, March 7th, 2009

Hillary Clinton is a Communist.  Why else would the damn Soviets be bending over backwards to kiss her ass?  What was wrong with Condie Rice?  She was way hotter and didn’t have any pinko baggage like that Vietnam protesting, flag and bra burning, man hating bull dyke .

Mmmmmm! she is like smooth milk chocolate, huh!  I wouldn’t mind driving her Hershey Highway with a big Mack truck on coke and steroids at the same time.  That sure would beat the hell out of a ride on that skanky old dried up hag of a hillbilly chick we’ve got in there now.  Probably ought not be looking at pictures like that, being a married man and all.

I have it on good authority that Hillary Clinton purposefully threw the Democrat primary so she could become Secretary of State and climb in bed with those liberty hating Commie Reds.  She went over there with her left wing, liberal agenda and the Ruskies just ate it up.  I think she has been working for the KGB for years.  That’s why she’s gone on to Turkey, where them turban wearing bastards are plotting against us in Iraq, and she has dispersed State Dept. officials to Syria, the same people that have done some kind of America hating terrorist thing or another at some time or another.  After all, they are Arabs and they are Muslims.  I’m not saying that all Arabs are bad but they need to get that Muslim part bred out of them.  Hell, whats wrong with being a plain old Baptist or even a Presbyterian or something.  We got a bunch of those and they can run convenience stores and drive cabs just fine.

Regressive taxation will cure our ills.

Friday, March 6th, 2009

Dumb poor bastards like this just sap money from the people that rightfully earn it.  Really, labor is nothing you can’t teach a machine or a monkey to do.  The real workers are those that were born with wealth and could afford to make real decisions and have real ideas.  These bums just get in our way with their “I don’t get paid enough to feed my family.” garbage.  Doesn’t some of the money I give to my church go to feed them.

What we need is a system of real regressive taxation.  Our tax dollars should go to reward success and punish failure.  Stupid bums and poor people should have to pay to support our lifestyles instead of the other way around.  The fact of the matter is that wealthy people are way better at managing money than poor people are.  Also, when rich people spend money they are making real contributions to society whereas poor people are spending money on things like food and heating their little tar shacks.  Even when they spend money on food they spend it on things like chicken and milk.  How does that stimulate the economy?  If I spend some money on food then it is going to have a lot more effect on the economy with a bottle of Dom and some escargos prepared by Pierre.  Money is just wasted on poor people.

My sweet tricked out jet

You see when rich people spend money they really create jobs and more rich people.  How many jobs do you think the jet created?

The Bentleys for when we are on the continent

Our dollars go to create real jobs, and not just here in America.  Rich people need to travel and travel creates jobs and more wealth.  Money is wasted on the poor.  They already have more than they need.  Most have color television sets, and really, what is wrong with black and white or just listening to the radio.  For that matter why can’t they just entertain themselves by working in the fields.

We should be taxing at the highest rate at the lowest level.  Now I realize that we already do that with the payroll tax and low capital gains tax but I think we should raise the payroll tax substantially on anyone who makes less than 100 grand and eliminate it entirely for anyone making over 500 grand.  At the same time we should eliminate the capital gains and dividend taxes.  This would funnel money from the poor and move it to the rich.  The poor just waste their money and the rich create jobs.

Happy Birthday

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

I got you setting up this blog for your birthday.

I just want to clear up the rumors that are going around the left-wing-web about this authentic photo of Ms. Palin.  I know this is real, because a guy at work’s brother-in-law, who lives in Alaska, actually took the picture at his neighbor’s 40th birthday party, where Sarah was a guest.  Looks like a fun party!  This was before she was governor of course.

The really shocking truth is that the left wing media have gone to so much trouble to make it look like this picture is fake.  Anyone who wants to know the truth needs to see this proof at urban – here they show another poor girls head posted on Sarah Palin’s good looking bikini bod.

Poor girl I wonder who she is and why she was singled out for this shame.

To take it even further, Palin’s head was then pasted on the body of some well meaning, hardworking Republican volunteer, who will forever be anonymous.  See this below:

well big brother won’t let me post the picture but you can click here to see it

If you tell a lie often enough, people will believe it!

People, I am telling you , that is the real Sarah Palin!