Archive for August, 2009

Some More Crazy Ass Shit about Health Care

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

Obama’s health care plan will give money to pay for illegal aliens at the expense of senior citizens.

Obama’s health care plan will make Mennonites, Quakers, Mormons, and Jehovah’s Witnesses clean up gay sex bathroom stalls.  He will enlist Larry Craig, George Micheal and some poor guy named Phil  to show them which ones really need it.

Obama’s health care will seize control of the health care of our soldiers, vets, government employees, and senior citizens.  The people that need and deserve health care the most will be at the whim of the government.

The Way to Celebrate the Death of Fallen Senator Ted Kennedy Is to Make Up Really Crazy Shit About Health Care

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

I know some of you guys might think that I am nuts, but with Ted Kennedy out of the way we could really kick things up a notch.  No body can call us on some of our ideas.

For instance, Obama wants to use your tax payer dollars to fund abortions for gorillas.  His plan will suck money from old people that need hip replacement surgery to kill embryonic  gorillas.  Try explaining that to momma gorillas.

Obama’s health care will take money from tax payers and use it to give deer birth control pills so he can take guns away from vets.  It is bad enough that our boys don’t get any Jack or Playboys, but taking away their God given right to shoot animals is just damn Anti-American.  We need to stop this thing.

Obama’s health care plan will put Liz Taylor in charge of the Fed.  She will get to make all monetary policy in the United States, which affects the whole world.

Dick Cheney Didn’t Waterboard Any Damn Liberals

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009

Here is the deal you stupid bastards.  Dick Cheney only waterboarded  commies, pinkos, and anti-American Arab Muslims.  You can spout your bullshit all you want, but Dick Cheney never tortured any body in the Democrat Party.

Bill Clinton Thinks We Should Send Some More Journalists to North Korea

Sunday, August 23rd, 2009

Ol’ Bill never seems to let us down.  He likes to save young commie journalists by sucking up to Commie leaders.  He also likes for the commie journalists to be young Korean chicks.  (Plane ride to L.A.X–priceless.)

He believes that we should definitely not normalize relations with North Korea but should send lots of young female journalists there, especially Asian female journalists, though, in a pinch, young Persian females should do.  He also believes that we should send them in larger groups, like five or six, but they should not be accompanied by any young male journalists, and should be properly showered before his arrival to rescue them.

Star Parker Is Right about Healthcare, and I Wonder if Her Cooch Got Smaller When She Stopped Being a Lard Ass

Saturday, August 22nd, 2009

I get this Christian religious channel and Star Parker was on there.  She said that the way to fix health care is to have the companies stop paying for the health insurance of their workers.  She pointed out that workers have a sense of entitlement when it comes to benefits and they should be responsible for their own health care.  Workers are living beyond their means and they need to learn to be more self sufficient.  She also pointed out that this would save our companies billions of dollars and make them more competitive.  She made the point that this would stimulate our economy because workers would have to spend more of their own money on health care and companies could reinvest the money they are paying on their employees.

I have come to the conclusion that Star Parker still has the hots for me and can’t get enough of my CrazyRightWingNutJob.  I swear, I think she has never given up.  I’m just wondering if her cooch has shrunk any with the rest of her.

Fat Star Parker had a fat cooch.  Even flour didn’t help.  With all the sweat you can’t find the wet spot.

I wonder if when they were stapling her stomach if they went ahead and put in a few extras for her cooch.  She sure is proud of her cooch.

Not only is she really proud of her new cooch, she gets pissed if you don’t want to look at it.  I figure she lost a little bit of her bloated labia and got it stapled.

Hey Star, you don’t have to pretend that you don’t check up every once in a while.  Your ideas are a little too close to home for me to not know where you get your talking points.

Obama’s Health Care Plan Will Ration Care Just Like They Do in Canada

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

Obama wants us to live like they do in that damn liberal dictatorship called Canada.  The only thing Canada ever came up with that was worth a damn is Coon-asses.  I’m not quite sure I want to take a chance with crap like this.  My health care ain’t great but it sure beats the hell out of Canada.

Obama Wants to Send Death Squads after Sara Palin’s Retarded Children

Saturday, August 15th, 2009

In section 179 there is a clause 482 on page 4894 that specifically states that “The President of the United States can, at his leisure, seize and destroy any child or elderly person belonging to any family that currently or has previously held the governorship of Alaska and has run a campaign against his exalted glory, provided the child or elderly person is found to have the mental defect of retardation.  Furthermore, the evaluation of said defect is the sole discretion of the President and the jurisdiction of any court of said matter is denied by the Congress.”

I don’t know about you, but that seems a little harsh.  I know that we lost the last election, and that elections do have consequences, but that is getting personal.

The Left Wing Liberal Media Shut Down My Site

Saturday, August 15th, 2009

Some people out there didn’t want me to tell you the truth and they said I was being vulgar.  I told them that I had a right to be vulgar and so they hacked my site.  You see, people on the left don’t use logic and reason like we do.  They act on their emotions alone.

I got Sara Palin’s lawyer to help me out.  After he busted that blogger in his Kindergarten class and made him eat the damn paper in front of a bunch of five year olds for insinuating that her marriage was on the rocks, I thought, “This is the guy I need to deal with the liberal media.”

Anyway, the guy is kind of a prick and his wife’s ass is way too damn big, but he got the job done.  I’m back and we have a bit of catching up to do.